Monday, May 07, 2007

So you think gas is expensive?

I got this as a forwarded e-mail; I usually hate that kind of shit but this one is actually pretty interesting so I thought I'd post it here.

So you think gas is expensive?

Here are some comparisons to put things in perspective:

Diet Snapple 16 oz $1.29 ... $10.32 per gallon

Lipton Ice Tea 16 oz $1.19 ..........$9.52 per gallon

Gatorade 20 oz $1.59 .... $10.17 per gallon

Ocean Spray 16 oz $1.25 ......... $10.00 per gallon

Brake Fluid 12 oz $3.15 ......... $33.60 per gallon

Vick's Nyquil 6 oz $8.35 ... $178.13 per gallon

Pepto Bismol 4 oz $3.85 .. $123.20 per gallon

Whiteout 7 oz $1.39 ....... . $25.42 per gallon

Scope 1.5 oz $0.99 .....$84.48 per gallon

And this is the REAL KICKER...

Evian water 9 oz $1.49..........$21.19 per gallon!

*this one I wasn't all that crazy about, because it's bottled water and you can get tap water for next to nothing, but it was kind of funny in the e-mail they pointed out that Evian is "naive" spelled backwards...

So anyway, the next time you're at the pump, be glad your car doesn't run on Scope, Whiteout, Pepto Bismol, Brake fluid, or Nyquil.


If you have never heard of Twitter, you should check it out. It's sort of a microblogging website, but you can update it from IM or your phone as well. I just made an account a few days ago, so add me on there:

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Carlos Mencia is a hack (again)

Carlos Mencia is such a piece of shit. I know it's been said that he steals from this person and that person, but here's one I bet you never expected: Bill Cosby! I hate Carlos Mencia. His plagiarism isn't even funny the way he does it. Here's the video:

Thursday, March 15, 2007

As of 3/15/07, I still hate blowout haircuts

Yeah, that's right. They are still as ridiculous as they were the day I posted about them for the first time (over a year ago). I can't believe I still see these things around. All I can think of when I see someone with a blowout is "Was this person trying to go for the Sonic the Hedgehog look today?"

Check out the comments section of my previous post on blowouts: here is the link. The comments these guys leave (and continue to leave, I just got another one today) are so tremendously entertaining, I felt like I should share them with everyone.

Also, it's pretty hilarious that if you do a Google search for "blowout hairstyle," my previous blog about them is the third most popular search result. Yeah, I guess I'm pretty awesome.

Edit: The Google search is now #1! YES!

Monday, March 05, 2007

Can you crack the code?

So I've taken a recent interest in cryptography, ciphers, and codes. It's so interesting to me that with very little information, some people can crack the most complex codes and decipher hidden messages. After a little bit of reading online, I was able to come up with one of my own, a mono-alphabetic substitution cipher. It's not very in-depth at all, but I thought I'd mess around with it a little.

Here are the hints:
1. The key word is "Tuesday"
2. It is an Edgar Allan Poe quote.
3. The spaces in the code are not the spaces in the actual quote.
4. There is one number in the very last group of characters that is just a place holder, and isn't an actual letter in the word.
5. You will not need to use "zero" at any time. There is the letter "O", and the numbers 1-9, but there are no zeros anywhere.

Here is the code:


If you don't know what a mono-alphabetic substitution cipher is (I sure as hell didn't until I looked it up), you'll probably want to find out before you start this, or else it might be a little too difficult. Or maybe it won't be. If you have questions or want more hints, leave a comment or send me an IM or something. Let's see who is the first to figure it out...

Monday, February 05, 2007

New List!

A Comprehensive List of Why You Should Wear Jean Shorts During Winter:

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Happy New Year

Hey all -

Hope everyone had a safe and fun holiday and New Year. My Christmas was good, got the usual clothes/gift certificates/etc but also some really cool stuff. After Christmas, I was treated to a party with some friends that I hadn't seen in years, which was a really great time, albeit brief. I love spontaneous road trips. New Year's was fun too, combining the celebration of the new year with a farewell party for a good friend of mine who moved to North Carolina today.

In other news: I finally got a new computer (in case you didn't know, my old one hadn't worked since August). The motherboard on my old one was shot, so instead of wasting any more money on a computer that is nearly 3 years old, I decided to get a laptop. So I'll be online again most of the time once I get back to school on instant messenger (screen name is still "ohmoche"). With any motivation, maybe I'll even start posting semi-regularly on this blog again. I think I still have that AudioBlogger feature, and that was pretty fun, so we'll see what the new year brings.

Monday, December 04, 2006

Family Feud is Getting Ridiculous

I love Family Feud as much as anyone else (or maybe more), but the categories nowadays are just out of hand. I can't get over some of them. I realize the show has been on since 1976, but I think they can come up with some more interesting categories. The contestants aren't any better -- in fact, sometimes I wonder where they even find these people. Here are some various Family Feud stories I thought were funny and worth sharing:

Today, as I was watching the show, the third round category was "What is known as a blood sucker?" (not a particularly bad category, but just wait). One lady answers "Leech," a solid answer. Her team chooses to take on the task of identifying 3 more blood suckers. Bad choice, family. The lady whose turn it is next, NEXT, with only one answer on the board, answers as follows:

"Oh geez, I don't know...*waits a couple seconds*...praying mantis?"

Now that's pretty bad. What happened to mosquitos and vampires? Sure enough, they were the #2 and #3 answers, answered in succession by apparently the only other semi-intelligent members of the family. Nothing could have prepared me for what was to come next though. One guy incorrectly guessed something that I couldn't understand, and with his answer in addition to the one given by the praying mantis lady, the team had two strikes this round. With only one guess left before possibly having to fork over their points, the remaining woman comes up with this gem for an answer:

"Hmm...leech, mosquito, dracula...I don't know what else sucks blood. Oh! A goat!"

A FUCKING GOAT?!?!?!? I wish I could convey how confidently the woman answered "goat." It was unreal.

I'm losing hope for humanity.
Question: What is an animal beginning with the letter "R?"

With two strikes already, these responses were uttered:
" about a rangatang? Oh, wait, I think that's an A..."
Clearly she was looking for "orangutan," not "a rangatang" which begins with neither R nor A. Unbelievable. I wonder if that dumbass even graduated high school.
Could it possibly get any better? Oh yes, it can. The next response was, again, said very decisively, as though this woman thought she was about to win all the points:


...I'll give you a second to let that sink in...

Ugh, I get a shiver down my spine when I think about how this woman wasn't even trying to be funny with her answer.
Oh wow, this one was hilarious. This dumb fuck completely ruined it for his team by blowing it in the third round. The category was "Name something people usually fail at the first time they try." This guy immediately hits the answer button...AND THEN SAYS NOTHING! Talk about irony!! The expression on his face as he "failed the first time" trying to come up with an answer combined with the irony of the whole situation sent me into a fit of laughter.
Category: "Name a country with 4 letters."
One person said, "China"
Another said, "Asia"
It just never ends, does it?

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Fun With

(drunkenness) + (boredom) = fun with

I'm not sure if any of you will find this as hilarious as I did, but I started off searching the definition of "ne'er-do-well" because I thought it was a funny word, and it turned into quite the adventure. I've taken the liberty of highlighting the funniest parts of the definitions.

1. an idle, worthless person; a person who is ineffectual, unsuccessful, or completely lacking in merit; good-for-nothing.
—Synonyms 1. idler, loafer, wastrel

adj : without merit; "a sorry horse"; "a sorry excuse"; "a lazy no-count, good-for-nothing goldbrick"; "the car was a no-good piece of junk"

1. a wasteful person; spendthrift.
2. Chiefly British.
b. a waif; abandoned child.
c. an idler or good-for-nothing.

...and the best word I've heard in a long time...

1. a person, esp. a child, who has no home or friends.

I can't believe that's an official definition for a word. A child who has no home or friends...that's terribly funny. Yeah, being home for break leaves me with way too much free time.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Sir, you're making a scene!

A couple nights ago, my roommates and I were written up by two RAs for a noise violation. We had come back late on a Friday night after drinking for a number of hours, and we were playing an innocent game of "Don't Touch the Hot Lava!" (For those of you who don't know what that game is...please delete yourself from my friends list because I now hate you. Just kidding, but it's a game where you have to jump from chair to couch to fridge or whatever else is in the room so that you don't touch the floor).

Anyway, we played for about 10 minutes before an RA came and said that we were being "much too loud." Okay, sure buddy. I told everyone that we needed to quiet down a little bit, but being that we were a little drunk and there were 10 of us in the room, all talking at once and doing various things, that was pretty impossible.

A few more minutes go by, and we hear another knock at the door. This time it is two RAs. Great, I guess they think we're hostile or something. The girl RA tells us that we were already warned once and since we didn't obey the all-mighty power-tripping RA commandments, we are going to get written up for a noise violation.

The whole concept of a "noise violation" has been bothering ever since. I'm paying about $4,000 a semester to live here. They're already telling me that I can't drink in my own room. Keep in mind, often times the people enforcing this rule are people who are 20 or younger. I am 21, and being told by an underaged person that I can't drink is something that gets me so pissed off I want to kick over small children. But I'm willing to look past that. Campus policy is campus policy and it's not THAT big of a deal in the scheme of things. But this noise violation bullshit...we weren't even drinking in the room or doing anything illegal. Just conversing, laughing, and playing a little Don't Touch the Hot Lava! And after the warning, we stopped playing and were just sitting around talking. Yeah, maybe we were a little noisy, but guess what? It was Friday night! What are we supposed to do? Not talk or laugh? A lot of people stay up and have fun until the wee hours of the morning. I can understand that they'd want to have people be quiet during the week because of class, but what do people have to do on a Saturday? Sleep in? They need to get used to a little noise. And if they're going to write us up every time we are that loud on a weekend night, they're going to run out of paper quickly.

While they were writing us up, they gave us your typical "we're just doing our job" speech. Give me a fucking break. I was coming back from downtown last night with two of my roommates and we were being very loud, singing and laughing and shouting as we walked along. A cop car pulls up next to us suddenly and says "Hey, shut up!" and then just drove away. He could have easily given us all tickets for drunk and disordery or public drunkenness or something like that, but instead, realizing that there are bigger fish to fry, he just tell us to shut up. You know what that's called? Perspective. That's what these RAs need. "Just doing our job." That's your job, to give people one warning and then get them all in trouble? Sounds like a fun job; I wish I could ruin peoples' nights like that.

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Grandpa Joe is a waste of life

I am watching Willy Wonka (the original) on TV right now and I've finally become aware of what a waste of space Grandpa Joe is. For one thing, it seems like it would take more than a measly golden ticket to get someone who has been bed-ridden for years up and walking again. But when you think more about it...

Why hasn't Grandpa Joe been working if he is just as able-bodied as anyone else in the house? Charlie works his nuts off for some meager pocket change given to him by the guy at the paper stand, while Charlie's mom slaves away washing clothes and singing depressing songs. The other three old farts (Grandpa and Grandma George/Georgette and Grandma Josephine) seem like they actually are too old and decrepit to do anything besides eat cabbage soup and watch that shitty TV they have. But Grandpa Joe? Oh no! At the mere sight of a golden piece of paper he can dance around the room like a fucking ballerina and sing til his heart's content.

So really, why doesn't Grandpa Joe work? At the beginning of the movie, Charlie brings home a loaf of bread and his mom says that they're going to have a feast. A FEAST! WHAT?! If Charlie's mom is slaving away and Charlie is working, I'll be damned if Grandpa Joe can't get his lazy, wrinkly sack out of bed and get out there to make some paper! All he is doing is being a drain on the family, especially with his tobacco habit. "I gave it up," he says.

Yeah right, Grandpa Joe, I hate you. Get a job.