Saturday, July 15, 2006

Grandpa Joe is a waste of life

I am watching Willy Wonka (the original) on TV right now and I've finally become aware of what a waste of space Grandpa Joe is. For one thing, it seems like it would take more than a measly golden ticket to get someone who has been bed-ridden for years up and walking again. But when you think more about it...

Why hasn't Grandpa Joe been working if he is just as able-bodied as anyone else in the house? Charlie works his nuts off for some meager pocket change given to him by the guy at the paper stand, while Charlie's mom slaves away washing clothes and singing depressing songs. The other three old farts (Grandpa and Grandma George/Georgette and Grandma Josephine) seem like they actually are too old and decrepit to do anything besides eat cabbage soup and watch that shitty TV they have. But Grandpa Joe? Oh no! At the mere sight of a golden piece of paper he can dance around the room like a fucking ballerina and sing til his heart's content.

So really, why doesn't Grandpa Joe work? At the beginning of the movie, Charlie brings home a loaf of bread and his mom says that they're going to have a feast. A FEAST! WHAT?! If Charlie's mom is slaving away and Charlie is working, I'll be damned if Grandpa Joe can't get his lazy, wrinkly sack out of bed and get out there to make some paper! All he is doing is being a drain on the family, especially with his tobacco habit. "I gave it up," he says.

Yeah right, Grandpa Joe, I hate you. Get a job.


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