Friday, January 06, 2006

G'd Up From the Feet Up

Anyone who knows me well should know that I am one of the most fashion-savvy people you could ever meet. I am always checking for the latest fashion updates and am a constant reader of fashion magazines such as Elle, Glamour, and of course Iconique. You can't be trendy and hip if you don't read Iconique. Keeping all these things in mind, I think I'm in a fairly good position to predict the next fashion trend. Given that I'm also "G'd Up From the Feet Up" and completely in tune with hip-hop culture, I'm going to make my prediction in that style of clothing.

(okay, you caught me...I just found those magazines in a Google search, and I am probably the whitest guy on the block. But for the sake of mildly amusing writing, I give you...)

The next hip-hop fashion trend: OVER-SIZED SHOES!

Think about it; remember Run DMC?

Now those guys were cool. Where has hip-hop clothing evolved to since then? I'll tell you where. Everything has gotten larger.

Pants are worn so far below the waist that often the "boxer shorts" or "tighty whities" are exposed. The pants are so baggy that, if seen from the side, could easily be mistaken for a skirt (or a kilt, if someone happens to wear extremely baggy plaid pants). That's somewhat of an old trend, though; baggy pants have been around for a while, it's just recently that they seem to have taken a ridiculous turn for the worse. I won't even get into these shorts that could easily be pants if they had another couple inches added to the bottom.

Although "bling bling" or "ice," as it is commonly referred to nowadays, was quite large back in the day, it is now larger than ever. It is more expensive, more flashy, and more HUGE! The bigger your necklace, watch, or earrings, the better.

Hats used to actually fit the person. Now, ironically, they are called "fitteds" and DON'T FIT THE PERSON. I don't understand this at all. As far as I know, 59Fifty is the most popular brand of these "fitted" hats. They always seem to poof off the person's head, and are worn so that their eyes are shaded or almost covered by the (uncurved) brim. Remember a long time ago when you weren't cool unless you had a half-circle curve on your brim? Man, those were the days.

Lastly, let's look at t-shirts. Typically, but not always, it's a standard "white tee" as it is called in the hip-hop world. More often than not, the bottom hangs down all the way to the knee or even longer in some cases, and the sleeves go well past the elbow, partially covering the forearm! It's true. T-shirts in the hip-hop culture are growing at an exponential rate.

Given all this, I submit that the only thing in the wardrobe left to catch on to this current theory of "Bigger is Better" is the shoes. So in the upcoming months, if you see gangstas and homeboys wearing shoes a few sizes too big, you'll know who called it first.


At 1/06/2006 2:46 PM, Anonymous lesley said...

i lol'd, and at one point i was concentrating so much on reading i accidently missed my mouth while drinking.

so yeah, that qualifies as a good blog, higher than that 6 you gave it

now i have to get a towel

At 1/06/2006 2:48 PM, Anonymous Paul said...

A 6.5/10, I'd say closer to a 7.5. If this were an earthquake, I say it could at the very least kill a few thousand people. Maybe even into the tens of thousands, if it struck an overpopulated and under developed region of the world.


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