Television Commercials

Here are some commercials that are on TV right now that I find to be funny/stupid/interesting/catchy...

Liberty Medical - I love the way this guy says diabetes. Instead of "die-uh-bee-tees," he pronounces it "die-uh-beet-iss." Not only does he mispronounce the word, but he has this accent that I think makes it even funnier. He also has a killer mustache that I envy. Other than that, I don't really have any qualms with this one. It just cracks me up whenever I see it (usually during The Price is Right). "Die-uh-beet-iss" testing supplies. Thank you, sir.

989 - I am not too familiar with the whole 989 thing (in our dorm room we receive your pretty standard 70 or so channels), but unfamiliarity with a certain topic has never really stopped me from forming an opinion about it. From what I have gathered, it seems to be some sort of advertising scheme for local businesses. What the fuck? Isn't that what commercials are for in the first place? Why do we need a whole channel devoted to it? I submit that we don't. And the guy who hosts it, Rod Wankel, is a total stanley. His name includes the words "Rod" and "Wank." There is no way he could possibly bring anything to the table that is worth my time.

Milwaukee's Best Light - "Brewed for a man's taste." Who the fuck are they trying to kid? Other than Genny, any ice beer, and Colt 45, I can't think of any beer right now that I like as little as Milwaukee's Best. The only reason it could possibly be brewed for a man's taste is that women find it so repulsive, even the minority of females that enjoy beer can't drink this piss water known to most as "beast." That nickname should tell you something right there. Brewed for my taste. Right. There's nothing I want more than a crisp, cold, delicious Milwaukee's Best Light. Mmmmmm...barf.

Baby - I found this commercial absolutely baffling. I'm still not sure what the point of it was. I have only seen this commercial one time, and it's probably the only time I will ever see it. It's just this guy, Stephen Collins (actor, father) talking about the miracle of having a baby. It's in black and white, which makes it a little more dramatic I guess. This chav drones on for a while about fatherhood and being an actor or something (I was too busy trying to figure out what was going on) before the climax at the end of the commercial: a website address. Baby.com. I was left just thinking "What the fuck?" I refuse to visit this link, so someone else try it and let me know what this is all about.

Snickers - This commercial kind of caught me off guard because Snickers commercials usually aren't intended to be funny; at least, they don't come off that way. This one portrays a guy in an office with various Snickers bars glued or taped to his head. A female co-worker of his comments on the fact that "no one is fooled" by his attempt to cover up his balding head. The commercial ends with a slogan: "It's only satisfying if you eat it." Clever, funny, and memorable. At least they made an attempt at humor, which is more than most commercials can say.

Hoveround - This commercial pisses me off for a number of reasons. For one thing, I'm not too familiar with Medicare/Medicaid/senior citizen benefits, but I'm pretty sure that the chances of getting a Hoveround at "absolutely no cost" is pretty slim. Somebody is going to be paying for it. Aside from the visually displeasing scenarios which are shown in this commercial (e.g., the kids roller blading outside with grandpa in his Hoveround, the lady navigating her Hoveround through the supermarket aisle like a Formula 1 racecar driver, and, among others, ending with the two old bags in their Hoverounds sitting atop the GRAND CANYON - I won't even elaborate on that), the thought that one day I may actually need one of these things just creeps me out. Bah, I never want to get old.

That's all for now. Keep an eye out for Television Commercials: Superbowl Edition!