Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Learn How to Type

Alright people. There is something that's really been irking me lately. It seems like some people just can't seem to type in any sort of normal way. It's bad enough that our generation is already getting dumber by the minute due to the excessive amount of video games and TV we watch (exponentially more than any generation that preceded us), but now a good portion of the online world types like a complete fucking retard. I know this isn't necessarily a new development, but it's really been getting on my nerves.*
1. Some girls can't seem to figure out how to type in their instant messenger profiles. Being the compulsive away message checker that I am, I tend to see lots of profiles on a daily basis. It's only girls, at least in my experience, that type like this. I am referring to two specific kinds of typing here: either the kind where there are no spaces between words, or the kind where there is just one space between every letter, regardless of where the word stops or ends. For example:

-- lookforthegirlwiththebrokensmile
-- livelifetothefullest
-- t h e r e i s h o p e
-- mygirlsrockmylife!

You get the point. Ugh, it makes me want to vomit typing like that. What is the point of this? Are you trying to convey that you are more "emo" than the next girl? Because boy that's sure a desirable trait...barf. Perhaps what you have to say is so important that it needs to be typed (in an AIM profile) with no spaces, or by spacing it so ridiculously that it can hardly be read. Yeah, that's it. Chances are, what you are putting in your profile is so cliche or "emo" that it either doesn't need to be stated in the first place, or it's something that no one wants to hear anyway. Check out the Golden Rules of IM: Part One and Part Two for some more profile/AIM advice.
I understand that some people are lazy, because I am certainly one of those people. But seriously, are you incapable of putting a space in the right place? I don't even care if you don't use proper capitalization, punctuation, or grammar, though I will rightly assume you are a moron. Just space your damn words the right way.
2. There is no need to inappropriately use capitalization. If you're not going to use it the right way, just leave it out. An example of this would be any jackass who types "wooOOOooOTTttT" or "ooo0o0o0o0ohhh!" or anything that resembles that. A similar form of online idiot is anyone who uses alternate casing (e.g., "yO sOn WhAtChU dOiN 2nIte!?"). Are you kidding me with this shit? I can't even take your typing seriously, much less what you have to say. All I can think of is that you are somehow trying to convince me that you are a 1980s wannabe computer hacker.
3. Okay, I lied. People who can't spell and use at least something resembling proper grammar piss me off too. I understand that if English isn't your first language it can be tough. That's cool. I'm referring to these college students (!) that can't put a fucking sentence together. How'd you even get accepted into a post-secondary school? Everyone misspells a word here and there, but when you type "definately" or the wrong version of "your/you're" or "they're/there/their" to me over and over again, I want to saw off my arm and knock myself out with it. Get a fucking clue.
4. Enough with the abbreviations. Again, being an extremely sloth-like person at times, I understand that you're lazy. However, we developed this communication medium where we don't even have to leave our seat to talk to people anywhere over the world (the telephone). Now, with newer technology, we don't even have to actually TALK (instant messenger, e-mail, etc.). Do we really need to get even lazier and write out sentences like "wutup yo im guna b @ tha bball cort b4 u 2nite" (for lack of a more creative or realistic example) all the time?


*As with any rule, there are always exceptions =)


At 11/15/2005 4:32 PM, Anonymous lesley said...

Oh wow, I was half expecting to be offended as some point, that was close.

At 11/15/2005 4:36 PM, Blogger Chris Burrows said...

dOoD tHat wAs sOoOO deep.

No, but really Bryan I share your hatred for that shit. So fucking annoying and will probably be the death of the internet.

At 11/15/2005 5:00 PM, Anonymous Heather said...

Hey Bryan!
An example of that annoyingness would be in my latest blog entry with this girl that spells horribly. She types 'your' instead of 'you're' and it pisses me off how a 20 year old can actually do that.

At 11/18/2005 2:17 AM, Blogger Paul said...

You should follow this up with a "Learn How to Speak" entry. It is very annoying to actually hear people say "WTF", "OMG", "LOL", or "TTYL".


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