Myspace Morons

I hate these fucking people who send me annoying Myspace bulletins. You idiots flood my inbox with stupid things like surveys explaining who you are (even though I clearly know, because you are my friend - also, I don't care what your favorite kind of chocolate is, your first crush, etc. Please spare me next time.), fake missing children reports, advice on how to live life to the fullest, unwritten rules of life, and, among many others, the one that is by far the most annoying: the "I'm sick of fake friends on Myspace. You have to respond to this or else you will be deleted from my friends list." Oh really? That would be horrible. Here's the bulletin:
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Fake friends
I have to agree with all of you who say people are getting fake on here. So I gave in and let's see who really reposts this.

Why do people who are friends on people myspace list never write back and why do some people have a million friends??

This is a test to see who's paying attention.

It serves to eliminate people who are desperately trying to add "friends" like it's a popularity contest in high school.
This is a test to see how many people in my friends list actually pay attention to me. Copy and repost in your own bulletin. Let's see who the true friends are! and I think I know who are...
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I've gotten this bulletin far too many times; either this exact message, or one almost exactly the same. Have we stooped to a new low as a generation? Are you honestly that confused about who is your "real" friend and who isn't? If you are, I'm pretty sure a "re-post" isn't going to clarify things for you. And if you don't want things to be like high school, don't treat Myspace like it's some sort of fucking judge of your character or something. "This is a test to see how many people in my friends list actually pay attention to me." Right. Re-posting a bulletin is really paying attention to you. I don't even know. That's pretty ridiculous.

In completely unrelated news...my esteemed colleague and partner in crime, Will, is looking for someone to do a new template for his blog. Interested? Contact him or let me know.