Saturday, April 01, 2006

Random Observations - March

Not necessarily intended to be funny. These are just some things I've noticed and thought were interesting.

-When you're pissing at a urinal, do you ever notice that if there's a discoloration or some other kind of abnormality in said urinal, you will almost always aim for it with your piss?

-Occasionally if I forget to shut a door upon entering a room, I'll hear someone say "Were you raised in a barn?" (this happened much more frequently when I was younger). Where the fuck did this expression come from? Do people who live on farms or in barns habitually leave doors open? I'd like to find out.

-Ever get that little thing in your shoe or sock which pokes one of your toes very sharply? It's like a little needle or tiny sharp stick that is more annoying than painful, but very agitating nonetheless. Upon further inspection of said shoe/sock, however, there's never anything there. What the fuck is the deal with that?

-How come there is such a huge difference in the amount of time between clipping your finger nails and toe nails? I guess to answer this question, you'd have to investigate why toe nails grow at an abnormally slow rate when compared to finger nails. I think that for every time I clip my toe nails, I have clipped my finger nails at least 3 or 4 times. And it's not like I'm walking around with 7" toe knives attached to the end of my toes, they just don't grow at the same rate. Anyone else notice this?

-Will (the morning after a night of hard drinking): Yo, if you get me a water you can have one from my secret stash. I just want to lie in bed for a while and keep farting.

(5 minutes later, Will is still awake)

Will: I can't believe I'm using up all my snooze time lying here and farting.

-Ever look at someone that's sitting down in a chair (in a classroom, for example) and you've never seen them when they're upright? Then, when they get up, you realize they're about twice as tall as you'd imagined them? Shit happened to me today in class, it was very strange...


At 4/02/2006 1:02 AM, Blogger Chris Burrows said...

heh 7" toe knives

All of the above has happened to me, crazy world this is.


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