Monday, December 12, 2005

Deaf Couple

I have not laughed as hard in a long time as I did when I read this article:

Copulating deaf couple unaware of own volume

Some of my favorite parts:

--Officers responding to the calls found the sexual activity of a deaf couple to be the source of the noises, which were described as "cacophonous" by witnesses.

--According to Zipelli, "It sounded as if they were bludgeoning a cow. There would be a low moan, like a 'moo,' and then a 'bang' and a higher-pitched 'moo.' It was like 'MOO...BANG...MOOO!'"

--The sounds wouldn't stop-they kept getting louder until the floor was shaking.

--"We thought she had broken a leg or something," added Julie Klein. "The moans and thumping sounded like she kept hitting the wall, but her boyfriend was there too. I thought he might be beating her, but I was afraid to intervene."

--...interlocked in a "deafening tangle of sheets and frantically signing hands." After yelling a short while, RSO's had to physically stop the couple from their activity.

--We didn't have any idea that we were louder than anyone else. I just get so excited sometimes.

...and best of all...

--"This can't go on every night," Zipelli told the couple. "I like eavesdropping on hot loud sex as much as any other RSO, but if these noise complaints keep coming in, I'm going to have to cite you."

The responding officer likes eavesdropping on hot loud sex! I don't know whether I find this to be disturbing or hilarious. I think it's probably a little of both. Wow. At least this deaf guy is big pimpin'. I give him a lot of credit for that. That really was the funniest shit I have read in a very long time, though. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.


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